Soccer Pussies get kicked out of National Mall for being Soccer Pussies

This is a story that’s going around here in DC where FC Barcelona tried to practice on the Washington Mall and got kicked out. Umm good luck on that one soccer players. You think you can just come in here and flop and dive all over our National Monument? This is America and we don’t need you defacing our national symbols with that pussy shit. Hope back into the mini van and take your Capri Sun and orange slices somewhere else. I guess Barcelona is supposed to be important or something, but maybe if anybody here knew who the hell they were they would’ve been allowed to prance around and kick their balls around the field. The funny thing is I play softball on the fields around the Monument every Tuesday along with countless other advocacy groups and DC workers. So basically here in America Beer League softball gets preference over (supposedly) the best and most recognizable soccer players in the world. Yeah, that sounds about right.